Hot Take: You Don’t Have to Enjoy Every Minute of Motherhood

Let’s normalize saying something that doesn’t always feel safe to say out loud:

You don’t have to enjoy every minute of motherhood.

You can love your baby deeply and still feel overwhelmed.

You can be incredibly grateful and still be exhausted.

You can look at your newborn and think, “I can’t believe I get to be your mom,” and then five minutes later wonder when you’re ever going to shower again.

Both things can be true.

Motherhood Isn’t Supposed to Feel Perfect

There is so much pressure placed on new mothers to soak up every moment because “they’re only little once.”

And while there is so much beauty in those early days, there can also be crying, interrupted sleep, sore bodies, feeding challenges, overstimulation, loneliness, and days that seem to blend together.

Sometimes you don't want to “soak up the moment.”

Sometimes you want to sleep.

And honestly? That's okay.

You are not a bad mom because you’re counting down until bedtime.

You are not ungrateful because you miss your old routine.

You are not failing because you need a break.

You are a human being adjusting to an enormous life change.

You Can Love Your Baby Without Loving the Newborn Stage

Newborn life can be incredibly demanding.

Your baby may need you around the clock. Your sleep may be completely different. Your days may revolve around feeding, burping, diaper changes, pumping, bottles, laundry, and trying to figure out why your baby is crying when you've already tried everything.

And then someone says:

“Enjoy it! It goes by so fast!”

You smile.

But inside you're thinking:

“I know… but I'm tired.”

There is nothing wrong with you.

You don't have to love every stage equally to be a wonderful parent.

Maybe you love the newborn cuddles but hate the sleepless nights.

Maybe you love watching your baby discover new things but don't love being touched constantly.

Maybe you love being a mom but miss having uninterrupted time to yourself.

That's motherhood.

You Deserve Support, Too

One of the biggest things I want new parents to remember is that the baby isn't the only person who needs care.

Mom needs care.

Partner needs care.

The entire household is adjusting.

This is one of the reasons postpartum support matters so much.

Sometimes support looks like someone caring for baby while you get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep.

Sometimes it looks like having another set of hands during an overnight shift.

Sometimes it simply looks like someone saying, “You're doing a good job. I've got the baby for a little while.”

You shouldn't have to wait until you're completely depleted before asking for help.

Give Yourself Permission

Give yourself permission to take the shower.

Give yourself permission to order takeout.

Give yourself permission to put the laundry down.

Give yourself permission to sleep instead of cleaning.

Give yourself permission to say no to visitors.

Give yourself permission to miss your old life.

Give yourself permission to admit that today was hard.

And most importantly, give yourself permission to experience motherhood as your own experience, rather than constantly comparing it to someone else's highlight reel.

You don't have to enjoy every minute.

You just have to keep showing up with love, one day at a time.

And on the days when you don't have much left in the tank, let someone support you.

Because caring for your baby matters but caring for you matters, too.

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Blooming After Baby Postpartum Doula Services Supporting families through the beautiful, exhausting, messy, and completely real transition into parenthood. Serving families in Lincolnton, Charlotte, and surrounding areas of the greater Charlotte region.